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.I really want you to start opening yourself up to all possibilities.You have just as much right to the deep happiness you felt in that dream as anyone else on the planet.”“Fine,” I say wanting to get off the subject.“I’ll consider it.” I add rolling my eyes.“Good,” George says.“Now, how did your evening go with Gladys?”“Fine,” I answer.“That’s a lot of fines,” George scolds.“Elaborate please, Coral.”“There’s not really much to say.Gladys is happy, Malcolm is nice, really nice actually’ – I scowl at the floor – ‘they’re getting married on my birthday.”George raises his eyebrows.“And how do you feel about that?” he asks.“Quite honestly, I don’t care.It’s the middle of the week.They just want a small do and that’s the date the Hilton can get them in.” George nods as he listens to me.“You know, I’ve thought about a lot of things this week.And as far as Gladys is concerned, it was going to happen someday, right? And I guess I’m trying to do what you tell me to do.To be less afraid of change, to understand that I can't control everything, and as sad as I am that both Joyce and Gladys are leaving, there’s not much I can do about it, so I’m rolling with the punches.”“I’m very glad to hear you say that Coral, that’s a very positive reaction.” George smiles warmly at me.“And like it or not, I think deep down, way down there in your subconscious you’re not feeling so afraid because you already have someone else to lean on, someone you know you can depend on.”I frown back at him.“I know I have that, I have Rob.” I state.George shakes his head at me.“I wasn’t talking about Rob, I was talking about Tristan.”“Tristan.Is.My.Boss.” I hiss enunciating each word – Honestly, can’t he get that?“That maybe so, but I think you’d better start letting your real feelings for him come to the surface Coral.”“What real feelings?” I question, laughing sarcastically at him.He cocks his head to the side, folds his hands in his lap and waits patiently for me - Argh! I stand up and start pacing the room.“Coral, please sit back down.” I cross my arms in a huff, and sit back down on the sofa.“What I am trying to say to you is that you wouldn’t be having the type of dream that you had, unless you are fighting how you truly feel for him.So if I was to ask you to be brutally honest with yourself and say it out loud’ – “I can’t,” I shout, interrupting George.“It doesn’t matter how much I like him.It doesn’t matter that I have dreamt about him.It doesn’t matter that he’s the best man I’ve ever met in my entire life.I’m not good for him!” I yell, thumping my fist on the sofa and choking back the tears that have thickened my throat.“Yes you are,” George says in his quiet, calming voice.I squeeze my eyes shut.I feel guilty for shouting at him.“Sorry.” I whisper.“No need.” He says.I sigh again and open my eyes.“George,” I say softly.“He’s a good man who deserves a happy, healthy, emotionally balanced woman by his side.You know what I’m like, I self-destruct everything.”“That’s your fears talking.” George retorts.“I know it’s my fears,” I bark back, gritting my teeth.“Coral, I really want you to answer the question.How do you feel about him?”“I love him!” I shout.“Is that what you wanted to hear? I’m already in love with him and I’ve only spent a few hours with him and I…” I stop myself there.“It’s best left alone,” I snap.“Good, well done Coral.” George praises.“How is that good?” I mumble.“It’s good because once you open yourself up to the possibility of a relationship with him, your subconscious will start to work in your favour.You want him, you love him, but your fears are holding you back.”I shake my head in wonder.“Why would he want me?” I snap.“I’m nothing, a broken empty vessel.I have nothing to offer him.How can he want someone who doesn’t love themselves, it makes no sense at all.Why the hell would he want this?” I spit, gesturing to all of me.“Coral!” George gasps.“I thought we had made progress in this area? Do you still feel like that? Are you still suffering with self-abhorrence issues?” George looks horrified.I squeeze my eyes shut.“Yes…no,” I take a deep breath.“He’ll leave me,” I whimper.“I know he will.”“You can't know that,” George argues.“And there’s no guarantee in any relationship Coral.They take work, love, openness and commitment, and even then it’s not set in stone.When a person enters into a relationship they do so with a factor of risk [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]



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